Love, Loved and Done

Even though I love you – you take it all for granted.

I fight for you, try to show you a better side of me, but you laugh at my efforts.

The look in my eyes are of true love and passion, yet you scoffed.

When you’re down I listen and try to cheer you up, though my words never get far before you tell me to “give it up.”

I sit and I contemplate my moves to make you happy, but a moment is all I ever get to give you before all my work is just crappy.

I know I am not well versed, but I try to give you all I’ve got, yet all I ever get in return is hurt.

Why? why are my feelings never enough? three from ten and not once have I have ever felt your generosity touch my soul.

I saw you once, in a dream. . . or so I thought.

An angel so beautiful that nothing could compare, but compared I never tried and I see I should have.

Once before your voice so lovely, now bleeds my ears.

The touch so gentle, is akin to sandpaper.

Looks that could make a heart race, only slow mines.

When I cry. . . I look to you whom I’ve loved for so long to comfort me, though if only for a moment, but it never happens.

But a sob story? my feelings are as short as a blade of grass when trampled on by the mountainous anger you feel when I complain to you for comfort.

Why. Do. I. Bother?

I try an close my eyes, so that the truth cannot bare its fangs. I pretend it’s going to be okay. That maybe it’s all in my head or that maybe I am to blame, but I see.

I see that I am wrong.

There are no illusions to mask you – you who I see before me. The one I love, loved the most and worst.

I stay hoping for change, but I see change will never come.

I dreamt this. I put myself into a box of imaginary beliefs hoping to be saved from my own delusions, but I see that no hero will come.

Yet, I stay.

I’ve put down my dreams for you, changed my whole life around for you, yet… you seem to notice, but I know now that you choose to ignore it.

I’ve been wasting my time trying to find a way to please you, but I fail.

How does a person hold onto themselves while trying to be something new for someone else?

I see now that I was fool to think we were a perfect match.

I need to go, not later, but now. Even if I’m stuck, it doesn’t matter.

You – the one I love, loved the most and worst are not my partner to be. While a good partner adds to a life, all you ever did and do is subtract from mines.