When you’ve lost it, find it again

Here I sit again to write about my thoughts and get something off my chest.

Discovery of your passion is nothing short of complicated and there tend to be many levels to understanding what it is you are passionate about. There are many levels to self-discovery and they vary from person to person.

Over the course my life since graduating 8th grade (middle school) I’ve had quite the difficult time discovering my passion and who I am. I thought I was into IT (information technology), I was in even a program for two years based on IT, but left for regrettable reasons.

Later down the line during my first year of college I learned a lot about what I thought I liked and it clicked that it was not for me.

I remembered how much I use to always write stories and little plays during high school, read books while walking down the hall-ways, and help people with their English papers all the time because they knew it was my best grade and I liked writing. Teachers would always pat me on the back and were impressed by how much I was always writing and reading.

I don’t really remembered why I stopped reading and writing even though I loved it so much.

After I got my first girlfriend (with whom I am currently with six years and six months later) I started changing a lot about my life and myself. I dropped out of that IT program I enjoyed being in, I stopped talking to all my friends she did not like, I changed my personally hundreds of times for her, and even started getting bullied because of her.

My life turned upside down more than it already was, and I dropped a lot of the things that made me happy.

I was at the tender age of self-discovery and It was ruined by my first girlfriend. That of which is partly my fault anyway.

I want to discover myself, figure out what I really want to do, and set off into the world on my own to do it. I am tired of feeling trapped, lost, and misplaced. The listlessness controls my everyday life and I was ready for change a long time ago.

Getting back the boy who loved to write is what is most important to me right now and I need him to develop those skills into something greater. I want to blog, write my own books, and even learn proper photography to go with it.

I do not believe I want to be a journalist, because I hate writing about facts and word for word statements – I did enough of that growing up and will still be doing that in college, so I am sick of it. I like to have creative freedom and express myself. I want my thoughts and imagination to be free.

To this day I still love to write and do it from time to time for fun, but I want to take it further and do more. Self-publishing has always been an aspiration of mine, as well as, working with others to create a great online business and blog (website).

My dreams, goals, and passions all connect, so all I need now is to start executing my plan and achieve them.

My life is my own and even if what I decide makes others upset it doesn’t matter. Their life and happiness is their own concern not mines. I need to seek what will keep me happy, not force myself to please others. While they may be getting what they want, it would not be what I want.

It is always better to walk away and be happy than stay and be miserable.

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